The Murphy Factor

A guy named Murphy once stated, "If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong."

A cynicist, he was. Perhaps.

How painfully true those words can be. I like to call it The Murphy Factor.

The Murphy Factor is responsible for you screwing up on a timed deadline so you have a grand total of no time to start from scratch.

The Murphy Factor is responsible for you double-booking your schedule. (Of course, maybe in 20 years you can clone yourself so this won't be an issue anymore, but that's a completely different issue for another time.)

The Murphy Factor is responsible for you overloading your weekend with commitments, none of which can be broken.

The Murphy Factor is responsible for you for getting laid off the same day that all the bills come in and you total your car.

Whoever this Murphy was, he was a genius. Good for him, unfortunate for us. It happens at the most inopportune times.

Example: The Murphy Factor sneaks up from behind you and whacks you upside the head, abolishing the brain cells responsible for storing memory of all things regarding calculus. 5 minutes before your exam.

Or, maybe it's the brain cells that allow you to move your tongue, mouth, and throat muscles in unison to create words and sentences when you're delivering an important speech.

Maybe it decides to really mess with you and forget who you're around when you're delivering a toast at a wedding, thus turning you into a family outcast. (Seen it happen - quite embarrasing)

The Murphy Factor tries so hard to be your enemy. Very hard. It's always sneaking around, cloaking itself, waiting for an opportune moment to strike.

Be on your guard. At all times. Its radar goes off if you're tired, stressed, worried, or intoxicated.

If you have to speak at an important occasion, speak slower. People might think your a bit dense, but it's better than saying something really stupid. If you're drunk, only open your mouth to intake alcohol. (Better yet, stop drinking.)

Keep a close eye on your schedule. Don't overstress yourself; that's a ticking time bomb. One wrong word from someone and you'll blow.

Building something? Don't be stupid and forego the instruction manual. Too many bad things have happened. Too many fathers have ruined their kid's childhood like that.

Oh, and if you're drawing up blueprints for something expensive - double check them. Triple check them. On a rocket design, the inventor left out a hyphen in the middle of an equation. The rocket self-destructed. Don't let that happen to you.

But, in spite of all this, don't let The Murphy Factor prevent you from going out there and doing the important things. That's his alterior motive. Look him in the eye and go on. Keep him in your periphreal vision at all times. (If I spelled that wrong, blame the Murphy Factor.) With constant diligence, you'll decrease the damage.

Just be careful. Please.